2:41PM

aug 19, 2010

ADAM HAS ESCAPED.... This was the last time he was in custody... unfortunately Illyse made an error in judgement and left the KEY TO HIS HOTEL ROOM, in the back of a taxi. He is known to be armed and dangerous...especially when he is not fed his scheduled doses of Coors Light and Ketamine. We believe that he was aided by this con artist, taxi driving (police-man-child) during a recent excursion to Italy.... 

 

where Adam was filming scenes for the upcoming "LAKE ROOM - THE MOVIE Part 2".... We also believe he may be traveling with this SLUT....

 

 


The man, who aided him in the get away wears many disguises.....and is slightly smarter than he looks...
Reynaldo, Frenchsco, Eduardo and Sampson are a few of this fool's known alias'. We believe his motives for helping Adam escape are so he can capitalize on all the hot babes Adam kidnaps on tour, and due to Adam's connections with the following people...


and his ability to make SEXY art.

This man is one of THE TOP private detectives on the globe. He has captured many famous criminals and celebrities including Phil Collins

 on his infamous escape from Genesis, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer

 

and pedophile Where's Waldo

He also invented the game "Where in The World is Carmen San Diego?"

 llyse giving me this dress as a peace offering. I told her there were no hard feelings, to meet me and the band at this lake for a swim...

 She's probably still waiting there...If you have any information or If you have seen ANY of the characters above... please notify larissa@sugarshockmanagement.com with any tips. You can remain anonymous and YOU WILL BE HANDSOMELY REWARDED....

 

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Reader Comments (50)

Phil Collins plays the violin now ?

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjiminy

useless as usual

August 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjmwxjom

get a hairkut mahn.fo reelz!

August 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercaptaincats

FuN!

August 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjennifer

sounds liek y'all had some ~*wet n wild*~ funn ;)

August 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersweetandlow

An open letter to Larissa of sugarshock management:

This is Xavier, free lance pole vaulter, failed actor, and semi-professional private eye.

I have heard that recently you lost the dangerous, the vile, the unwashed Adam Green from your custody. I immediately took the case and I have been on the look for him for several days now. I have looked in all the usual places, I have combed the seediest bars, I have detailed the sexiest cars, I have searched the surface of mars, I have even checked the cushions of my couch several times, but to no avail.

For a while there, I thought that it was all over, that this search for Adam Green was another dead end, like my acting career. Then I had a brain wave, or at least I hope that was the weird tingling sensation I felt. I started to investigate the con artist, taxi driving, police man child. You listed several names that this shadowy figure goes by but I found that I made the most headway by asking people if they knew a man who either wears sunglasses or looks like a retarded pirate. For the most part people thought I was talking about Johnny Depp. Finally, some prostitutes remembered the con artist in question. I guess when you give a prostitute the worst case of herpes she has ever heard of then you are going to be remembered.

When she told me where she had last seen the retarded pirate, I hit myself in the head for not thinking of it sooner. She directed me to an island where criminals run free, where the chaos is only quelled by tyranny, where the jazz music is cool and sultry. This prostitute with a heart of mold directed me to Manhattan. There, prowling the streets I set about doing the dirty work. I bought an "I love New York" shirt even though I am really only very fond of New York. I watched several over priced Broadway shows only to realize I had been in a drag queen bar all along. Eventually, I tracked down this taxi driver con child police person to Trump Tower where he was hiding in Donald Trump's comb over.

You catch more flies with honey then with vinegar, so I first started by asking him politely over tea and crumpets where Adam Green was. He was a tough egg to crack though and eventually it all broke down, like most tea parties do, into a cage match. As I had him in a sleeper hold, before he slipped out of consciousness and into dreams of candy canes and cocaine, he confessed where Adam Green was.

On the last picture you posted, the one of Ilyse standing by the lake, do you notice anything odd about it? Take a look at where she is looking. Yes, that traitorous scoundrel has known all along where Adam Green is, I suspect she even was in on the escape. She is looking across the lake at the hill on the other side which, the retarded pirate confessed to me, is the actual location of "The Lake Room". Inspired by the hideouts of various super villains, Adam Green has constructed a hidden lair where he keeps his Coors light, his ketamine, and several copies of Garfield Sunday comics. You can find the entrance on the hillside but I advise you to be cautious when apprehending him. He has already dumped the slut you saw him with before, apparently she didn't have enough plastic surgery for him. Now he has with him about fifteen lake room whores and has formed a cult by claiming that he is the God Jupiter.

I don't know what level of brain washing they have succumbed to but those girls could be dangerous. You might need to call in the SWAT, the FBI, or the New York Yankees to deal with him but I leave the details of apprehending him up to you.

I'm sure you'll manage.

Sincerely,

Xavier

OMG, that slut!! Adam run as far away as you can :D

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEden

He is hiding in a giant vagina

August 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn the baptist

He is with me. Judging records and selling his dick to the come back quicks of lost echoes of the pain in the heart of a restless sleeper doing his best to follow the gaylord faggot jesus

September 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPitchfork Media Dot Com

Why don't you come to Paris before going back to US?? We can have a drink like in Bologna :)

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBetty

Adam, I love your Jew fro and beer belly! You are so sexy!

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChloe

c'mon adam give us a new post...

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrob

need post please! ur so awesome!

October 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChloe

new post, i mean! i want a new one u freakin' funny jew!

October 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChloe

Oh c'mon we need a new post! :D

October 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOmenaripuli

Suffering without a post from you!!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjones

Maybe someone related to the band reads this I dont know. In an interview in youtube A guessed that pirate dlds may be bad for musicians pockets but also brings people to shows. Here in Argentina your band cds are almost imposible to get. So I wondered if knowing that fact playing here and see how many people enjoy your music still make you as a band happy to know that here you are only known from mouth to mouth...no radio tv o enything ever said a word about you...you were not even promoted here...fuck if I remember, I missed it...just that, you are as underground as the moldy peaches were in the past...please do some jorge regula 4 track songs again, thats how I got related to your stuff....I did and still do that...like that phone ringing in the back of Nathing came out hahaha more real than that impossible...thanx...any back comment would be taken as a very nice christmas gift!

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArgie Dalton

Dude, when's the new lake room post/movie coming?

November 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWalter

Jesus Christ, Adam. Make a new post already :/

November 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlittlejoii

Hello gorgeous, you should update more often.

<3

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOverExaggerated

Adam, are you from Ashkenazi Descent ? Are you an a Ashkenazi Jew?
Have you heard of the several studies claiming that ashkenazis jews are incredible smart because of some genetic mutation or something?. Do you feel really really smart, more than the average non-jew individuals?

November 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJew

hey adam baby, make a new post! xoxo

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKitty

Please make a new post! We love you Adam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

November 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChloe

POST SOMETHING NEW!! happy channukah by the way

December 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarlon

Please make a new post!

December 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteradd

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